{Travel} How NOT be a Butthead in the Kruger

As promised in my last Kruger article, I wanted to write a blog post about How Not To Be A Butthead in the Kruger.



Because there are a lot of regular Kruger goers, old timers and veterans, who have been going to the park for years, who respect the rules and etiquette of the Kruger and who constantly have to deal with people who show no respect to the park and animals.

What we have come to realise in our time visiting is that that nobody reads or respects the rules they receive from SANPark when driving into the park.

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions of how NOT to be a Butthead in the Kruger and some Golden unspoken rules of the Kruger.

Disclaimer: Images are courtesy of the Buttheads of the Kruger page (give them a follow and tag buttheads you may encounter on your next trip) and videos are attributed accordingly.

1. Don’t be an Instagram Husband in the Park

Look – no matter how much your wife or girlfriend wants a mysterious “I’m on Safari Darling’ Instagram picture, just don’t do it. It’s not worth risking your life, unless you plan to be a afternoon snack for a Leopard.

2. Don’t always answer nature’s call

Plan your bathroom stops accordingly – or if you cant – wear a nappy. This is just not on. Imagine if a lion had burst through the bush to see what was (or was not) on display?

3. Don’t aim for such heights of stupidity

I can only assume these people couldn’t read the rules because they were unable to read English? Still doesn’t excuse such moronic behaviour.

4. For heavens sake, stop crowding the elephants

On occasion in peak season, the Kruger becomes what can only resemble bumper to bumper traffic jam on William Nicol.

Then, out of nowhere, a huge bull elephant appears from the bush and heads straight for you. But you cant escape because people have decided to drive right up your ass and refuse to reverse for you.

Last time we went, this terrified guy that was about to get trampled by a bull had to scream out his window – Move! Move! Move! as no one would reverse for him.

5. Don’t teach your kids this kind of behavior

Stretching your legs is only for picnic stops or the camps. Be a good example for your kids – they are going to bring their kids to this park one day and ignorance breeds ignorance.

6. Don’t force animals of the road like this (via Kruger National Park Videos)

7. Don’t spoil a wildlife sighting by chasing animals like this (via Africa Travel Channel)

8. Don’t take ‘Self Drive Safari’ so seriously

There is over 2600 km of road to explore in the Kruger. Was it really necessary to drive into the bush like this?

9. Remember, windows are transparent for a reason

Learn when it’s time to switch the aircon on instead.

10. Don’t litter – better yet – don’t bring single-use plastic into the park

I snapped this picture on my last visit. It made me very sad and is another example of how plastic is effecting our environments.

11. Don’t feed the animals.

Both times I have stopped at Tshokwane picnic spot, I have seen tourists feeding monkeys fruit so that they can get a picture. The poor women that works at the picnic spot has to go around spraying the monkeys with water continuously because they’ve now become brave and steal food right from patrons tables. Never ever feed wild animals.

Finally, closing thoughts and unspoken rules of the Kruger (well – according to me and family and friends I asked)

Remember, most importantly, don’t be a Butthead.

Let me know in the comments section below what other golden rules people should know when visiting the Kruger?

Thanks for reading, and please subscribe to my blog here


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